The Guardian has a section on ‘A new start after 60’ which I read with interest, but at the same time wonder about all the stories that have been lived but not necessarily published. I would love to hear yours! Here’s mine…
I always had a romantic idea about being on the road, not exactly like a gypsy, but Juliette Binoche’s role in ‘Chocolat’ comes close. Of course it wasn’t all cocoa and Johnny Depp. At 63 I found myself stranded by covid in Eastern Europe, unable to return to my native Australia or wanting to go back to my adopted NYC. Money from the film I went to Hungary to make was dwindling, as was the likelihood of ever going into production. Then Russia invaded Ukraine and all hell broke loose. It was time for a new start.
From a small farm in rural South Australia, my mother and a boarding school education taught me independence and to pack light. I studied literature, and took my Keatsian dreams off to Paris and London, where I carried plates for a few years, before returning home to the booming restaurant scene in Sydney. Every food market and taste sensation I had savoured on my travels nourished my appetite to manage and then own restaurants. It could have been a life’s work, but the opportunity to swop menus for Manhattan was too tempting. It was a serious plot development I couldn’t resist.
With my photographer husband, Sean, we pitched for and created marketing campaigns for high end brands. Being Australian and always shooting on location with an authentic cinematic style gave us an edge. And the travel-with-purpose was exciting – tango dancers in Argentina, Holland Casinos, snowed-in Montana for Harley Davidson, the Faroe Islands, Vegas, the morgue in Miami… Every job was different, so I always felt like I had the wind in my face. Best of all, the productions fed a decade of my broadcasting live on overnight radio from where ever we were, sharing stories from the trenches with Australia.
Fifteen years later the digital revolution changed everything, devaluing advertising photography but making motion more accessible. For Sean, tech was finally catching up with his cinematic ambitions, so with me as writer/producer we set off for film-friendly Hungary to make a show. I thought Budapest would be my third act. That after restauranteur and producer I could take the next step with story-telling, all my experiences being as yeast in a doughy drama. But between the Weinstein outing and covid, the industry crashed and our investors signed out. My optimism languished and my body aged, I felt increasingly old and woolly, landlocked and stuck, like everyone, in lockdown. Time was ticking away. Finally, one day in front of the pickled cabbage stall at the markets, I realised there was enough grey going on with my hair without eating grey food under grey skies.
The relief of being in your sixties is the cobwebs spun by guilt or regret from the past give way to the practical reality of living without a parachute. I had to find a way to continue going forward, to find a new unknown destination with as yet unknown opportunities to jump. An open door that would welcome our experience and modern approach. Work-for-accomodation platforms are relatively new, facilitating the travels of mainly young people in what are generously called ‘cultural exchanges’. In exchange for, say, harvesting olives for 4/5 hours a day, you get to stay for free in a room/caravan/cottage, depending on your luck with the honesty of the glowing profiles of potential hosts. In our case bad luck was good luck.
Within the first two months of arriving in South Tyrol I felt 10 years younger. Long hours weeding, building stone walls and pushing a wheelbarrow up and down olive terraces transformed my body and my mind. The transformation was complete by the isolated bubble our hosts, Fritz and Freida*(not their real names!) enveloped us in. They were hard masters, ‘masters’ being the operative word. We were taken back more than a century to the culture they perpetuate now by living in defiance of (or perhaps because of) historical, geographical and social change. South Tyrol when it was part of German speaking Austria/Hungary, when there were servants. Weirdly and ironically Fritz & Freida provided the spark of an original story about entitlement that in turn inspired a script, and now the production of a pilot. But in another place thankfully.
My third act is up and running. We currently house-sit overlooking the Mediterranean on the edge of a small generous-hearted community, surrounded by spectacular Tuscany. It is the kind of place you dream about at 16, not expecting to be living there 50 years later, or that the picture-perfect location would be central to the making of a TV pilot that we are creating together. The whole town is on board – harmonica players, tattoo artists, ship builders, bakers & gymnasts. There is still a long way to go, but the proof is in the pudding, and there will be magic in the second slice. This isn’t just a new start, it’s a whole new adventure. Questo posto è magico!